thankyou and goodbye
there was a woman who lived in peru . her name was liptiana. she drank lipton iced tea allll day, and grew very sick because she wasnt following the word of wisdom. the only thing that made her feel better was gunia pigs. oooh, they just tasted soo good! her local vilage pirate didnt approve of this habit tho, so he went to go find a witch doctor to curse her. he sailed all over the atlantic ocean, and down the amazon, until he met the current pharoh of egypt , who was picking out his toe jam. the yung pharoh bargianed with the pirate, and finally agreed to lend him his royal witch doctor if he could teach him to play a reliant k song on his new electric blue telie. the pirate, who happened to be very fluent in guitar, agreed right away, and took the whitch doctor back to curse that girl into folowing the word of wizzum. the end
a young jedi padawan went to primivera one day, and sat in a room playing solitare for hours on end. he got so frustrated that he pulled out his light saber and with a "zoink" busted up all the computers, and went on a wild rampage. needless to say, he went to the dark side, because they were having a party.
and they all lived happily ever after
amen
a little girl went to the market to buy lamb chops. she was afraid of the old man who sold it to her, so she ran away crying. she ran up and down the hills. she got too tired, so she laid in the valley to sleep. when she woke up, the lamb chops she almost bought were right in her face, making a funny noise, like "oooggaaaa booggaaaa waaaaaaaaaahhh!!" she was kinda scared, but delighted at the same time, because she was awful hungry. she grabbed the lamb chop, and started to take a bite, but the lamb chop grew a mouth and teeth and bit her tongue and lip. she started bleeding everywhere, so she grabbed a bandaid out of her shoe, where she kept all of her most prized possessions. yes, a bandaid was her treasure. she kinda looked funny because she had a bandaid on her lip, but oh well. she was alone. besides the lamb chops. speaking of lamb chops, she remembered they were there, and noticed they were gnawing on her knees. kicking and screaming, she woke up. back at home. on the couch. where she fell asleep on the couch while she was playing a game on her new DSi
mario was italian. he had a pet.. idk what it is... named YOSHI!! one day, yoshi threw up an egg. gross. then a baby yoshi came out! she was all cute and pink, and her name was yoshina. mario loved her, even more than he loved peach. he wanted to keep her a secret from bowser, because he didn't want her kidnapped too. but mario didnt know that bowser already planned ahead. baby bowser was in a yoshina costume. while they were sleeping, bowser put baby bowser in a yoshi egg and switched it with the real one. sooo, bowser really did have the real yoshina. and baby bowser is a girl. WHOA. then daisy came and saved the day because she loved marios brother, luigi. who was still eating dinner, so he had no idea of any of this. mario only knew because he saw a little bit of baby bowsers big stinky feet sticking out of the bottom of the yoshina costume. DUMB, didn't think ahead that time! HA! mario, full of anger, ran to bowsers castle, slew bowser with his own sword, got the REAL yoshina, and peach. and he had to decide who he wanted to marry. secretly, he chose both, but don't tell the girls that. they both think mario had business trips every other week... SHHH.
while traveling through the candy cane forest, joe was DEHYDRATED! he needed something to drink, and fast. all he had was a stove and some candycanes. he ran around like a maniac trying to find water, or milk, or juice, or even SODA! but he was stuck. running made him get even more dehydrated, even faster, so he passed out. randy came and found him. took his stove, and melted some snow that was all over the ground (joe wasn't very smart). randy drank all the water, left joe on the ground. and then ran to circle k that was just a few feet away. joe was blind, so he couldn't see anything. thats why he was dehydrated.
moral of the story: never leave a blind man alone. especially in the candy cane forest.
other moral: circle k is a life saver
once upon a time, rachel ray and her husband were filming a show. it was just an avarage show, or so she thought. little did she know, that her very pudgy secritary ronaldo reginiousia was uber jealous of her cooking skills (he was pudgy from eating soo much McDonalds, so rachel ray's cooking was tasting pretty yum-o) and wanted her dead, so he wired her oven burners to spurt toothpaste (she was highly alergic) and her cubbords had spring loaded boxing gloves. he awaited patiently for his booby traps to work as the familiar "dunnnn nnnaaaaa naaa daaa chiiiinnnngggg!" jingle came on. as rachel opened her cubbords, and the glove swung out, there was a bright flash of light, and all of a sudden........ NINJAS!!! they karate choped and back fliped and cought the glove before it broke rachel's movie star nose. cause that would have been bad. in fact thats exactly why the studio hired the ninjas, to protect rachels million dollar nose. anyways, rachel was trying to continue with the show, oblivious to what was going on. she switched on the oven, and the toothpaste squirters started going balistic! the ninjas, who knew about her alergies, knew that the only cure was a rootabega root from borneo. knowing that they could probably get it from their local wal mart, they ran really really super speedy to get some, as rachel was swelling up and turning purple.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. to be continued.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
bob was a millionaire. he loved his money. and guess what? he had a job as a beta tester! YAY! but don't be prideful like him, or else you will get struck by lightning and wish you never lived. actually... if you DID get struck by lightning, you would die. so just dont even THINK about being prideful, and you'll be safe.
CONTINUED-------knowing that they could probably get it from their local wal mart, they ran really really super speedy to get some, as rachel was swelling up and turning purple, and her husbant was FREAKING OUT!!!! he was jumping up and down and beating up the show producer. witch was bad. meanwhile, at walmart, the ninja, whos name was rudy rothlessburgeress, was running up and down isles looking for rootabega root from borneo. she was franticly searching when she found.......... THE MENS UNDERWEAR DEPARTMENT!!!! AHHH!!!! after trying on several pairs of mens boxers, she fonud she was hungary . so she went to the subway, and ordered a 5 dollar foot long. she was sitting down to eat that foot long, when she remembered rachel. and then she realised that there was rootabega root from borneo in her mustard on her sandwich! so she jacked sombodys red camero outta the parking lot, and speeded back to the show, only receving 4 tickets along the way. she shoved the sandwich at rachel, who wolfed it down and turned slightly less huge, and slightly less purple.
moral oof the story? ninjas are awesome, and so is walmart :)
michael jackson was kinda creepy... but only in secret. what he did in his free time is play video games in his basement. he took binoculars, and pointed them at his neighbors house... and looked at ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... THE LADY BUGS ON THE WALL!! ooooo creeeeepppyyyy! he secretly enjoyed squishing lady bugs between his toes. so he always had to keep watch for them. once the time hit 2:41am (in the morning), mikey would get on his welding mask, demi lovato t-shirt, cut off shorts, and spongebob slippers, and would sneak over to the house. he got a HUGE jar full of the lady bugs, and would step on them.... it felt soooo good!!! (according to him, i would NEVER do this). too bad for lil mikey... it was dark and he forgot his flashlight. so on accident, he got one of those big beetle things (like the one on bugs life that flies) and put it in the jar. when he stepped on it, it was a lot tougher than the lady bugs, so it didn't squish. the bug bit him on the achilles tendon, and it started swelling, and swelling and SWELLING. the swelling even spread to his whole body!! soon enough, mikey turned into one of those bugs. but he wasn't half human, he was whole bug. gross. and he was ginormous!!
too bad for mikey, he didn't look in the mirror. he didn't realize he was this nasty bug, so he went on his way to his concert. when he sang, in HIS ears it was beautiful, but to everyone else it was like "RAWAAAAWWRRRR TTRRWWWWIIIELLKJF AWRFORIVOING" and way off tune. and besides the fact that the singing was horrible, security was called because everyone thought that just a bug was on the stage, no one knew it was mikey. they went and found a giant and told the giant to put on his spikey cleats to step on the bug with. bye by michael Jackson
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